I tend to think too much, and have a million thoughts...Well anyone with a brain does. But I over think things I shouldn't and then get myself in a tiz. so instead of repeating the same thought and same old wingin' through out a kabillion Jornals (as I did and probaly keep doing)on myspace. i have decided to keep this journal fresh and clensed of repetion. To be honest I only write when I have something angsty to say. When I am nice and pissed off, which usualy is when I am drowning in a weight or father situation. So enough!

Anyways all of yesterday I stayed at my friends house, went home and then came back to have sleepover.


~~~~CHILDHOOD & INOCENCE~~~~
He's little nephews where over and may I add were very cute. Seeing them playing and interacting. I couldn't stop thinking about when I was in their shoes. When I was only 7 years old. I remember when I was younger and was around teenagers or adult I couldn't help wonder what it was the separated me from them, what exactly it was that divides a 15+ from a younger child. I used to think why I couldn't sit with my mother and her friends and indulge in their conversation. And couldn't work out what drove the older others to be so affectionate with the opposite sex. Being a child, i was naturally curious and deep down felt excited about growing up. I couldn't wait too be fulfilled by 'what I didn't know' would make me the same status as adults.
Then you hit the age when everything isn't so sugarcoated, when everything isn't so censored and I find myself looking at children wishing for the low expectations they put up with and how their life is smothered in affection, chocolate and innocence, these children who are probably looking at me wondering the same. It's a really big contradiction.
To be honest I miss the high I got as a child by superficial stuff, such as Toys and Sweets... I miss filling my emptiness like that. Toys and Lollies don't bruise any emotions or mind frames, not with the ego of a child. These days my emptiness craves uncertain things. Things that aren’t a physical objects. Things that scare me as they are new, things that could either make me happy or leave me just empty as I was... SO uncertain. It's a big hike.
I guess growing up is exciting and scary and Childhood is pure and precious.


~~~~~ Amazing person~~~~
Have you ever met someone so passionate and inspiring that when they talk of their love for something you can't help but enjoy that something a whole lot more, even though compared to them your opinions sounds so childish... You don't mind, because what they say, really opens up your eyes (in my case ears).
i have a friend passionate about music... But the way he describes music is like the thoughts you can't describe...the way his mind works is so great and I find myself sitting for hours listening to him talk and play cds and loving every minute.